Why 80’s horror movies are cool…

In the middle of the slashing, biting, demonic-possessing action–there is time for a little interpretive dancing.

This is illustrated perfectly in the Night of the Demons series:

The Trial, The Blonde Wig and Teenage World

Thanks to my grandfather–who didn’t care if I listened to his comedy records as long as I didn’t scratch them, I got to hear Pigmeat Markham, Jackie Moms Mabley, and Redd Foxx before I was old enough to get most of the jokes.    It would all be considered tame by today’s standards but my young baptist ears knew something sinful was happening! For example, The Trial (the actual comedy bit starts in at 2:40–but listen to the whole thing if you want to hear one of the forefathers or rap…)

Anywho, there was also Effie Smith–she had a comedy album called “Dial That Telephone”.  The sketches showcased the characters Ruby Lee and Henry (her husband). They shared a party line with some of her friends, so a lot of the fun revolved around gossiping and eavesdropping. The bits here weren’t really jokes per se, but comedic situations. Someone has taken one of my favorite segments from that album “The Blonde Wig” added a puppet(?) for the visual and uploaded it to youtube.  Just press play and close your eyes:

Here’s another cut from that album: Teenage World

New! From Apple….

The iPATCH

You will be assimilated hip!

To Die For

To Die For (1995) is a fantastic, dark comedy* starring Nicole Kidman and (the book on which it’s based) was inspired by the Pamela Smart murder case. It’s about one woman’s quest to be a tv star…

Beyond being a funny, well acted fim–To Die For is like a time capsule. There was a time when being on tv–even just a weather girl for a national news program–would have been seen as a major accomplishment. It took that kind of monumental exposure to be a household name.

Now, with the rise of the internet, social network, blog, share-it-all, world of today everyone has access to their own camera and can broadcast from their own channel. Millions of fans can be all over your video because it’s magically gone viral–and the crowd can disappear as quickly as it came.

I wonder what a woman like Suzanne would do today to get leverage over all of the other wanna-be celebs jockeying for bandwidth or a space in your download queue…

*Don’t believe me? Siskel & Ebert gave it 2 thumbs up.

yWriter

Since I’m writing a piece that’s longer than a short story, I’ve had problems organizing all of my ideas. My usual process of creating a skeletal outline and then filling it in until a full story emerged, just isn’t working.

So, I’ve decided to try yWriter. It’s described as novel writing software, but it’s more like an organizer/database. (Be nice if a program could instantly write out coherently whatever popped into your mind–but then we’d be going into Tommyknockers territory.)

It’s nice seeing all of my notes assembled in one place and being able to move scenes/ideas around with ease. yWriter also gives you the option of setting target dates for writing/revision of specific chapters and scenes.

Hopefully, 2010 will me backing away from procrastination (darn internet–and Netflix) and writing a bit more.

One of the things I got for Christmas…

is a food processor. Not just any old food processor–a Cuisinart 14 cup can chop/puree/grind anything (mind your fingers!) food processor.

Between this, my subscription to Cooks Illustrated, and my copy of the Joy Of Cooking–2010 should be full of culinary experiments.

221B Baker Street

Sherlock Holmes was great – lots of action, good interplay between Holmes / Watson and Holmes / Adler.  Villain was so-so.

Traditionally, Holmes has been portrayed as a brilliant mind but very reserved–he would never just be in a boxing match for the hell of it. The new Holmes is brillant but a little more vulnerable. He has to deal with his emotions (“losing” a friend to marriage, the reappearance of the only woman who stimulates his, ahem, mind) and is more human than logic machine.

He can solve a riddle before your tongue finishes telling the tale and he can smack the taste out of your mouth before you’d ever see it coming.

Charity

In addition to buying gifts, people usually give to charity at the end of the year. Whether it’s the “spirit” of the season that loosens up the purse strings or a mad rush to get all of the taxable donations in, non-profits will joyfully receive whatever you have to spare.

As a rule, I try to make sure that I’m giving to a charity/nonprofit/program that whose official philosophy/belief system doesn’t think that lgbt people need to be eradicated from the world or that women need to be controlled. No feeding the hungry with one hand while threatening to cast a soul in hell with the other.

Now, some people would say, “Ignore that belief or vision that you don’t agree with because, where it matters, organization x is doing good work!” The problem with that is when there is a conflict between doing “good work” or adhering to that core belief–that organization is going to toss “good works” right out of the window. Why ask me to ignore it if they won’t?

Holiday Double Feature: ThanksKilling & Santa’s Slay

ThanksKilling – wisecracking, homicidal turkey kills stalks 5 “teenagers”. This is a spoof horror movie that’s pretty funny. It takes standard horror movie elements that are already absurd and amplifies them by 1000. Our bird is flexible–he will use a shotgun, an axe, a knife, his beak or whatever is nearby. Best of all, he believes in safe-sex; though, it’s never quite explain how he got that extra-small, gravy flavored condom…

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Santa’s Slay – I think at one point, everyone has realized that “Santa” is just “Satan” with a wayward “n”. Both entities wear red and are associated with fire–you though it was a just a quirk that Santa digs chimneys and fireplace? Well, it turns out that Santa is Satan’s only son…who lost a bet with an angel and had to spend 1,000 years spreading Christmas cheer and handing out presents. Having fulfilled the terms of the bet, Santa is now free to butcher you and your entire family–just like in the good old days. Oh, you should know that this is a comedy.

Gold star for you if you recognize former WWF wrestler Bill Goldberg as Santa!

On Precious…

I have seen a lot of horror movies. I have seen a lot of scary, cringe inducing scenes. More times than I can count, I have heard orchestral music exploding into a frenzy because the superhuman serial killer, demonic force, vengeful ghost, alien, vampire, werewolf, or mutant monster is just around the corner.

Still, I don’t think I have ever felt more dread or fear in a movie theater than when Precious returns home with her new baby.